Sigh. What the hell happened to me. I am damn emotional recently. What happened?! Can anyone tell me?! I am really frustrated and mad with myself! What the fcuk am I doing?! Can someone just gimme some pointer? I am really trying my best not to be emo. But I failed to do it. I am just feeling damn horrible now..

I feels that he is treating me rather cold recently. I do not know what mistake I did again this time. I am trying my very very best to be a good girlfriend. Why am I always a failure? What can I do to content him? All I want is just his affection. Nothing else. I swear. But why are all these things happening on me? I am really very miserable. I just need a listening ears.

I wanted to have a nice and calm talk with him. But I just could not bring myself up. I am really afraid that it might lead to a quarrel. I really do like to have a nice talk with him. Why can't I just do a simple task? Am I really such failure as commented by others?

Anyway, we had our Christmas celebration today. Though I looks happy and cheerful outside, but deep down inside I am really feeling very down. Just don't know why. But somehow, I am just feeling very down naturally. I just could not control my feeling. Bet "big/small" and Blackjack with colleagues and lost $20+ in the end. Sigh. I just felt that he doesn't even bother about my existence.

I repeated myself countless time that I am just thinking too much. But I could not deny it. Sigh. After the celebration, I asked him a question and the answer that he replied just made me feel even down. They went out for dinner while i stayed in office. Don't feeling like anything; not much appetite. I did SMS him twice, yet to have any reply. Why just can't he simply reply my SMS?

They have just went over to Dong Ba Pub. And I am going over soon. I am prepared to drink as many as possible. I am feeling damn fcuking down. And I have no one to turn to, to lend me a listening ear. Currently just feeling very terrible inside me.

Guess I shall stop here for now. I, hereby, wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a very prosperous New Year. Hope everything changes better in the coming new year. Bye..

♥ Little brother; Marcus.
♥ Husband.
♥ Baby Janessa.
♥ iPhone.
♥ Web Designing.
♥ Cam-whoring.
♥ My Pink Digicam.
♥ Shopping.
♥ Playing Online Games.

Baby girl's arrival.
Baby girl to be healthy.
iPhone.
Quit smoking.
Birthday trip to Phuket! <3.
Hair to grow longer.
Burberry small check tote bag.
Go overseas.
Pink Canon IXUS 80 IS
Diploma course
Diploma certificate